Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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