week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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