dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
