Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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