I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
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We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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