i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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