there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
