wrigley field is MILF paradise
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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