A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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