"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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