IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
