I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
