his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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