I want you more than these girls want KFC
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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