she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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