A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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