Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
