You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
