I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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