Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
