but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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