Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize