remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize