so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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