i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
