What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
