drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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