I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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