Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
