Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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