Sry I called you an 8
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
