he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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