Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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