pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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