I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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