ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
