I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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