He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
