i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
FUCK WHALES
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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