If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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