just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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