Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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