is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
