I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i think i have two assholes
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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