So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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