She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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