You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
