Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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