he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
