It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
