im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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