You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize