I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
