Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
