i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
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something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
it glows. i had to have it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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