so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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