He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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